More to the story...

So here's the deal, I know I told you guys I would explain further into detail about what's been going on with me and this little life of mine.

Here's a break down of the past year or so:

April/May (2023).. the woman I married in 2019 sent me over five lengthy unapologetic messages to my cell phone. I know you guys aren't aware but we split up in July 2021 and spent two years apart without contact or any trace of one another. Marriage was hard and we hit some bumps in the road that we just couldn't get over for the time being. So... we separated for what felt like forever. We lived separately, traveled separately, laughed separately, loved separately and lived in a world where neither one of us existed to one another. I never really went to her social media, I stopped asking about her, I threw away everything that had to do with her, deleted any traces of memories that would take me back to the past because I knew for sure that this was how it was going to be for the rest of our lives. I accepted us being an experience and a life lesson that was greatly appreciated. I accepted the healing journey that came along with the deterioration of us in its entirety.

May 4th 2023.. I booked and boarded a flight to Puerto Rico. An island that reminds me of her every time I visit. The last time I went to Puerto Rico was for Valentines Day in 2022. I went to love on myself and treat myself to some mental clarity. I enjoyed every second. Eating, drinking, dancing, reading, and so much more. All done alone and I loved every second. I did a lot of writing and praying. The one thing I tried to do was not think about her. Impossible. Everything reminded me of her, even the smell. That trip reminded me of why and how I fell in love with her in the first place. It also reminded me of why I was there alone. I needed to be. Fast forward to Cinco de Mayo weekend, one of my favorite holidays. She asked me to meet her there for reconciliation and although I was hesitant, I went anyway because I wanted to hear everything she had to say to my face. Most importantly, I wanted to see the freckles on her face that I missed more than anything in the world. I wanted to hear her voice that wasn't left in my voicemail box this time. I wanted to tell her how angry I was for taking two years to find me. However, the second I seen her.. all I could do was let her hold me for over 5 minutes. After that moment, I realized I went two years without feeling this. All I could think was "it was doable yesterday, and today it feels completely impossible".

We talked about everything... and when I say everything, I mean EVERYTHING. It had been a two year time span and we had to catch up on those years. While we were catching up, I realized I spent such a long time without a best friend. I lived a detached and loner life in Atlanta. I went out from time to time.. but I didn't connect with anyone. Not that I wasn't capable, I just simply didn't want to. I know what you're thinking.. that long fucking healing journey just to end up back where I started? .. My exact thought process.. and that's exactly what I expressed to her. I didn't want it to all be for nothing. If I could give a dime for every time that crossed my mind during that trip. There was a lot of crying, yelling, and laughing. Everything was needed because it brought us to where we are.

It's February of 2024.. We have been working on our relationship since that day. I continued to go to Jersey up until October of 2023. She moved to Atlanta to better herself but in my head, I tell myself she moved for me. Lol .. But no honestly, we're both working on ourselves individually and together. We prayed for a very long time for life to be this way for us. We used to stay up late at night and talk about what our life would be like if we could live it this way. God put us in this position and the only thing we've been trying to do is do right by it. It's so hard to focus on not fucking it up and getting the opposite outcome. It's a new year and we have a new focus, new goals, and new dreams. We're putting our all into making life work for the better because we now know a life that felt like the worst.

They say you never know what you have until it's completely gone... We are the perfect example for that saying. We are two completely different people, two years older and wiser. She's more in tune with her feelings, self aware, beautiful, understanding and PATIENT. I'm less clingy, self aware, and probably more of a loner than I've ever been in my entire life. In a good way though lol. I'm just a 28 year old who likes to blog, read, spend hours in target and play the sims. I like to make money and go home.. lol literally. I'm getting into this thing where if I need a "girl friend" instead of a wife, I ask my wife to go out with me to do drinks and girl talk. Lol, which is probably my new favorite thing to do. She really knows how to play the role. Lmao.

Anyway, I could go on about our little life. But there's your details to one of my favorite love stories of all time & apparently it's some of yours as well. (: As always, thank you for supporting my blog and reading what I have to say. This will probably be the first and last lengthy blog.

Until next post.... <3